
Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.

as Ted Whitley

as Max Waters

as Linda Turner

as Colette

as Gloria

as Herb

as Grace

as Homeless Vietnam Veteran

as Ted's Attorney

as District Attorney

as Judge William H. Converse

as Judge Katherine Notch

as Bailiff

as Publisher

as Bag Lady

as Lisa

as Shelly

as Marcia

as Marcia's Elderly Boyfriend

as Mrs. Turner

as Linda's Grandmother

as Rose

as Poetry Award Presenter

as Nevermore Club Emcee (as Jack Eastland)

as Nurse

as Orderly

as Patient #1

as Patient #2

as Patient #3

as Waitress with Attitude

as Guest

as Women's Group Head

as Women's Group #1

as Women's Group #2

as Women's Group #3

as Ted's Cellmate

as Prisoner #1

as Prisoner #2

as Prisoner #3

as Prison Guard

as Chainsaw Juggler

as Horseback Rider

as Wino

as Park Bench Lover

as Park Bench Lover

as Cop #1

as Cop #2

as Cop #3

as Cop #4 (as Lawrence McNeal III)

as Cop #5

as Beach Blanket Lover