
Gentle Colin 'Col' Lawes happily lead a quiet life, running a news agency with his soiled-rotten wife Sandra and playing competition darts in the Atletic Arms team. Colin catches her committing adultery with team captain Geoff, a cop, who pretends Colin abused her. Col is thrown off the team just after it qualified for the league finals in Blackpool. He decides to travel there alone, hoping to win her back.

as Colin

as Ron

as The Crafty Cockney

as Darts Announcer

as Geoff

as Sonja

as Ian

as Sarah

as Sandra

as Mandy

as Zippy

as Deno

as Shady

as Craig

as Trevor

as Bob Derby

as Dennis

as Herself

as Andy

as Russ

as Mick

as Service Station Waitress

as Gulliver's Kingdom Soldier (uncredited)

as Ebony

as Forest Man

as Troupe Leader

as "Nessun Dorma" Manager

as "Nessun Dorma" Barmaid

as Motorbike Salesman

as Coach Driver

as Greenie