
Roy Brush has aspirations to be a great footballer and this seems likely when he scores for England in the European Cup Final. To add to this he becomes a national hero, having seemingly saved a young lad from drowning. But Roy has a secret - he is gay - and the editor of the scurrilous 'Scum' tabloid is making it his business to out him. However, with the help of his manager, Roy can triumph at an inspirational climactic football match, where his tears touch the heart of the nation - and pundit Jimmy Twizzle gets very high on mushroom tea.

as Roy Brush

as Kevin

as Scum Editor

as Leslie

as Club Chairman/Waiter

as Club Manager

as Mick

as Janet

as Terry

as Jimmy Twizzle/Wiggy

as Sports Presenter

as Roy's Mother

as Leslie's Mother

as Dick Wibbly

as Trevor Moulton

as Wazza

as Lift Man

as Meat Trade Spokesman

as Punter in Hotel

as Punter in Hotel

as Barman

as Nurse

as 2nd Nurse

as Doctor

as Ambulance Man

as Doorman

as Recording Engineer

as DJ

as Self - Commentator

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Footballer

as Sponge Man

as Barbie

as Smoking Doctor